I am my own best, loved one. Happy Valentine's Day, to you (me) dear, sweet, strong, sensitive man; so often misunderstood, so often guarding against the pain of rejection; so often observing my fellows being super macho men at the gym; or stray outsider femmy underdogs broadcasting shade to the world because they are afraid of all the pain the world promises to them. And then the endless talking twats, hysterical, groundless, obstacles to get through. I am my own best, loved one. Happy Valentine's Day, dear you (me). I would gladly marry myself if I could.
Happy Valentine's Day to me St.Orr, nycmasseur the one and only; dear sweetheart, I UNDERSTAND you and your need, your craving for peace and space. It's not neurotic, your not crazy. There's too many people here, too many judgments, too much greed....I hug you and offer myself up to you, body and Soul. Stay strong, strong, beautiful man. Muuwah !
Just got hired to teach kids how to ride bikes...the perfect fit of a job!
My Yoga exchange partner wants to continue, yay. I'm glad to know him, he's giving me tools. And I control my craving for him. After all he's just a man. I think we hate each other a little. I think GURLS who wanna fuck and yet hold off can learn a lot from each other. And I'm controlling myself hey hey easy to do with unrequited love. The news headlines are a circus! The streets are rife with a hint of spring in the air.
Went to the Bath House yesterday. When all the twats talking and the breeders huggin' started to drive me nuts I just got into my breath, the poses, loving myself and God in me. Reciting my Hail Marys. The perfect antidotes to youngins who treat the spa like McSorley; Prayer and yoga.
Watch The Gorge...damn good flick!
But, overall--everywhere there are the phone addicts, sweet, young things; missing out on life but growing their little hand-held devices outta their assholes, sinking into them
like parasites to vampires sucking on them. I am one, too as I cruise the news late at night, in bed alone, the blues, the jerk-off muscle dopamine, the celebrity go no where-ness. The phone, the phone oh, that little thing burning my eyes. The only little thing that matters in every other mediocre moment. The phone, the phone. There is such peace in the virtual world. God Bless us. I feel like playin' the blues now...
Happy Valentine's Day to me St.Orr, nycmasseur the one and only; dear sweetheart, I UNDERSTAND you and your need, your craving for peace...I hug you and offer myself up to you, body and Soul. Stay strong, strong, beautiful man. Muwah !
Emails, indeed texts from certain friends have become perfect Hallmark card declarations. I find the use of AI in personal communications to be so deadening. I'm allergic to it. Give me your Goddamn misspelled words and Freudian slips. Not this mechanical robot driven perfection. Maybe it's a sign that the friendship isn't real. What do I expect? A few weeks ago that same friend named an AI chat bot and was worshiping her words. Robot Christ. Ew.
Another dear old friend has passed. She had a good life and lots of support with her family. Was fighting the cancer for the 2nd time. Lost.
Now back to me again. Now, me? ha! I'm a lone wolf but I'll be OK for now. The important thing is to keep your health, to maintain, to keep being creative even though you know it's a lost 'cause to keep praying even though you don't hear a damn thing back from God. The important thing is to play the keys and keep singing, the muse has a way to the Soul. She never disappoints--if you let her, she will whisper in your ear. And before you know it--you're in the zone. What did that gurl from Milwaukee say a long, long time ago? It ain't over till it's over. And it's all over too soon. What did the Mexican say to me last night on the street..."This life--it's like a vacation until---" I said back. "Hey, my idea of a vacation is a nude beach with lots of open-hearted joy-seeking hot men. Preferably horny men. Yes I said MEN! Now that's a vacation sweet stuff. You've been married much too long boy. As for God, he don't mind. A bit more joy in the world is a damn good thing! You gotta a great face, you're face is beautiful Felt myself getting hard. My face is young, my body's old. Bodies are like cars, after so many miles. But we're not cars, we're humans I said. We feel. Well, Trumps and Republicans, now they don't feel so much as bully people and lie. And that's the truth. Everyone watches movies all the time. That's why he was elected. We wanted a show, we're all bored. Now, I guess we got one.
Gotta make some IG commercials for my CD. Damn.
Love yourself
amor & gracias
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