Often I of late I have been questioning; "Why is it so very difficult in the city to forgive? To love, to be soft? Why?" The answer, I believe is because people are all so armored here (too many people in such a small space likened to too many rats in the laboratory cage), and because of that extreme armoring, most of us become bitches (or cunts)...
The bible teaches us to love one another and to take communion, believing and trusting (with faith) that drinking the wine is drinking his blood, and as we eat the bread this becomes his flesh. I cannot accept that. God and Jesus elude me as self-made myths that people create to pray to and to make them feel more comfortable. No.
When I listen to this song and read these lyrics, I am reminded of how much I have loved and that my loving is probably deepest when it comes to music because music doesn't judge, it just massages your mind with its beauty. Instead of Jesus or God, music to me is God. When I die, please play this at my wake, memorial funeral (although I know there won't be one). Read the lyrics and drink a beer, toast me. There is no God, no Jesus, but there may be a Holy Spirit. When I go to church, the saints are guides but the one true symbol I feel and resonate with is the sign of the dove. God would not have let AIDS happen. God would not have let concentration camps happen; not to mention the constant rape of the planet and nature. If there is a god, he is a monster of sorts...music here...
Also; of late I have been coming to a wonderful place of peace with my bodywork. I am what I am and I have no judgements about what I do, nor do I delude myself that there is very little in my life that will change until I die. It's set. It's now. I don't like people that much but I love doing massage and getting my dopamine fix from men and getting paid for it. This is my curse and simply, my blessing.
Humanity has failed me, except when I discover beautiful music that can move me to tears, laughter or make me want to dance! Nature is nicer, nature (like music) is one of my gods. Gods may be found , in the trees, sky and oceans--you see I am quite pagan. When life is done we are worms. Some try to follow the word of Jesus so that they can be given an ethical guide I always knew the deck was stacked against me, that I was born alone and would die alone and there would never be a community to guide me or love me and, after a time, a very limited amount of lovers to comfort me. I don't apologize for this. I love my life the way it is. Quite alone. I don't mind it really. Sometimes I get lonely, but more often I simply cope and accept; this IS my life now and I love it and accept it; AND I'm open to change (however unlikely that may be). But for the most part this is me now. And besides my complaining and kvetching, this music touches me now and gives me solace with it's beauty and power. This piece is so rich and beautiful. This beauty is the epitome of how deep music can be; how it can make us feel our hearts and Souls again, after so much damage and pain from people and living.
Bless my scars Holy Ghost.
Though there may or may not be a god, there is definitely a God-like power in the ability of man to create beauty in art that it's possible that this creative process it gives back to man what life would destroy...paradox!
Child of Wonder
Child of wonder
Child of sky
Time to end your voyage
Time to die.
Silent slumber calls you
Dark and deep
Child of soft surrender
Child of sleep.
Child of sorrow
Child of rain
There is no tomorrow
No more pain.
Turn your silvered sail
Toward the light
Child of mourning
Child of night.
Child of night.
Child of iridescence
Child of dream
Stars and moons will guide you
Down the stream.
Stretched on ocean waves
Of endless foam
Welcome home my child
Welcome home.
– Eric Whitacre
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